J’ai essayé

Tu es dans mon esprit mille fois,

Pas une minute ne me passa,

Sans que votre visage ne planse

Esprit, je vous manque de mon coeur,

Je te manque dans mon âme,

Vous êtes absent de moi et je suis aussi perdu que perdu peut être …

Comment puis-je vous effacer complètement?

Quand tous vos fragments ont déchiré mon cœur en morceaux?

Quand vos mots ont brûlé ma conscience.

Je suis conduit au point de la folie,

Quand je sais pour sûr que je suis juste une mémoire fanée de vous.

(Me writing bad French. Thanks Google Translate)

#poetgonemad

-Cricket

Solstice

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This, my longest night,
your face hidden from sight,
Our latitudes meet,
magnetized poles underneath;

This sky, so vast and dark,
like your soul, I am disarmed
Captured under your midnight blanket,
prisoner of your warmth;

Let me loose, enchanter, master of disguise,
Skin against skin, invisible dreams,
You and I alike, This indestructible lock,
Chiseled on immortal rock.

Tonight, fullest moon, my pride,
Shine undaunted by the sun’s filtered light,
Illuminated, enlightened, take flight!
Cast your shadows from behind…

 

Chronicles of a Filipino In Exile.Artikulo.Uno

IMG_8058
Blue_Skies sa Estados Unidos

It has been a long month. The unpredictable weather and bipolar temperature change makes it unbearable and hard to adjust. As the days of spring came closer, I felt the urge to push the panic button. I have stopped working for a week now and it is time to join the hunt.

I cannot wait to land on a job. Community folks tell me to under-declare my qualifications and choose entry level jobs (which I think makes sense, but would be difficult considering that I need to fill out online application forms as truthful as I could, otherwise I will be considered dishonest. And so, my unfinished Masters would have to be in every resume I send, even if I end up applying for a restaurant crew job.) I just need to break into the workforce fabric.

It is both frustrating and exciting (looking for a job certainly is. It has been a couple of years since I tried to get one, since I have been working ten years straight since 2007.) Without a drivers license, I still have high hopes for myself, because it will mean a lot for my parents and sister who waited for me for more than two decades. I passed the practice online tests and will take the online test this week. It is inevitable, I must drive to succeed (literally.) Or to paraphrase it, I need the drive to succeed, ha.There.

There is no room for regret, after leaving my job, my life, and my home country (and retiring at 43 is a risk that I have to take) to go to this unfamiliar place. I carry my prayers and optimism each day as I send out applications. Let’s see where this will take me.Everyday I see faces of Filipinos in places like malls, amusement parks, churches. I was told there are a couple of Filipino folks who live in this street (whom I haven’t seen). Most of the people I meet are all caught up in their retirement, some, making waves at their jobs and in universities where they study. Filipinos they say are “magaling” and “masipag”. I know there is a right time for everything,I have faith that it will come soon. I hope to live up to that.

God gave me two functional arms and legs and a strong heart that has fought many wars. “Nasa America na nga ako, maligayang pag gising. Umaga na pala. May thesis pang naghihintay matapos”, OM, I have to keep my act together, “talaga”

So much for enjoying my stroll in the park, and eating out at Arby’s with our Mom and Dad, and yes, the Dollar Store and Walmart. I need to examine (re-examine) my priorities. “Teka”, I haven’t even seen Disney World and the Grand Canyon just yet.

“Sabi nga ni Mama Jo,time is gold.” No it’s actually platinum, like the record that I need to break every time I make a decision to change my life. LOL and duh (that’s Mom’s favorite expression, giggles.)

 

Disruption

sunset

Touch not what you cannot love,

Hold not what you cannot keep,

Breathe in, take in as much,

But not too much that your soul will bleed.

Reach in with the purest of thoughts,

Unless momentary,

Life is not a temporary thing,

Connections are never secondary,

Nothing in this world isn’t fated,

Even if you feel cheated,

Things happen for a reason,

and a season,and there are

no such things as accidental glitches,

no illusions, but everything you see, feel or hear,

a perception of your human mind

or the lessons it teaches,

are there to remind you,

you can do anything you want,

with what you have, what you need…

So hold not what you cannot keep,

Breathe in, take in as much,

But not too much that your soul will bleed.

Pitchblende

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You and I, peas in a pod,
Pitchblende, radioactive mud;
Time does heal wounds,
Memories scar so good.

Walls exist, but in the mind,
Great thinkers can be blind;
Stars travel far and wide,
Dreamers cross the great divide.

Never in a thousand years,
Even through a thousand miles,
Parallel but ne’er aligned,
See you on the other side.

Marie Curie cures thee,
Isotope of Love.

Disclaimer: Author does not own the terms used and only represents ideas regarding
Marie Curie and Pitchblende.

On Life and Love, Some Afterthoughts

love

When you love, love passionately, and be never afraid of the pain that goes with it.

 

Find ways to surrender to the impossible to make them happen.

 
Cross oceans for the people who matter, if you must. Travel rough roads to touch their hearts.

 

Believe in people even if sometimes, you feel that you are alone in your belief.

 

Get scared, scarred, get burned, suffer being forgotten, if it’s what it takes to make them feel remembered.

 

Cherish the little time you have, the small talks, the laughter that you have never known.

 

It’s worth it, love will always be, worth the pain, worth the discomfort, in spite of wounds.

 

Focus on the good, no matter how difficult; and be kind even for no reason.

 

Life’s a risk we take for the ones who mean the world to us.

The Fall

image

When autumn came,
I was ready to fall,
along with the leaves
and broken branches –
now unafraid to be serenaded
by the shadows of winter
summer is now
but a long and lost memory
and I,
waiting for rebirth
in the stillness of
today

#scribbles #pencilart #afternoonthoughts

Remembering

pair-of-tree-swallows

I think of you, the world in between is chaos;
when I breathe or pause, I fly away to this distant memory,
a natural response.

 

My mind is now so tired of things, but never of you,
never of the days that made a difference,
never of the freedom it offered,

 

and as I move in my world now,I am filled with your presence,
with more assurance that I can make it,
because of your belief.

 

Thankful that healing came fast,
Forgetting was never easy, yet now enough,
that  we – once knew this path.

 

#freeverse
#unconventionalhaiku